Lightening up the Holiday Blues
The holiday rush tends to intensify feelings that people typically have. Bernardo J. Carducci, psychology professor at Indiana University Southeast, refers to this as "density intensity." When you have periods of density, when you're crushing things together whether physical, psychological or emotional, it tends to intensify the feelings you're having, he said.
"If you're typically sad and down, this time of year intensifies that. If you're generally a pretty happy person, it really puts you in the spirit."
People who feel low can actually bring down people around them who are not depressed, Carducci said, while cheerful people generally do not make people around them more cheerful.
Carducci offers the following suggestions to help perk up the holiday blues:
- Be wary of humbugs. Be aware that this time of year can make people who are typically cynical and toxic even worse, so consider avoiding them.
- Express gratitude. Being thankful can help put life into perspective and counteract a tendency many people have to focus on what they don't have or how their life is far from picture perfect. "Rather than focusing on what you don't have -- your house isn't as sparkly as your neighbor's home, your cookies aren't straight from Martha Stewart's kitchen -- focus on what you do have," Carducci said. "You have social support. Friends and family, they're the number one thing."
- Random acts of kindness, intentional acts of kindness. "You're in a line at a bank or mall, let someone step in front of you; let someone have that parking space; hold the door for people; give compliments, particularly to sales people. This points to social involvement," Carducci said. The holidays also are a great time to pay extra attention to friends and others who provide that important sense of social support in your life -- the people you know you can count on when you're down, he said.
- Get real. Carducci encourages people to focus on the present and to realize the past is not always as great as we remember. He also suggests people avoid "aspirational media," which makes it appear that what we need is "more, more, more," such as bigger TVs and smaller phones. "They equate what you spend with the happiness you'll feel," Carducci said. "It's aspirational rather than realistic."
To learn more about the Shyness Research Institute, which Carducci directs, visit http://www.ius.edu/shyness.
